Indonesian woman who came to Singapore on MOE scholarship says the hardest part was feeling like she didn’t belong

Singapore, Singapore Jul 11, 2026 ALN: A former scholar from Indonesia who came to Singapore as a teenager got real in a TikTok video about the challenges of moving to another country for a better life, saying that while trading her green passport for a red one had been one of the best decisions she has ever made, it also came at a price.

Grace Gumala shared her experiences in the context of “kabur aja dulu,” which translates to “just run away first.” This phrase has become emblematic of a trend among young Indonesians over the past couple of years, where they’ve expressed frustration with the domestic situation in Indonesia, including the lack of good jobs amid high expenses and unfavourable government policies. This sentiment reflects a broader narrative among youth in various countries facing similar challenges, as they seek better opportunities abroad. Many young Indonesians are increasingly looking to migrate as a solution to their struggles, believing that foreign countries can offer a more promising future.

Ms. Gumala provided a bit of a reality check, opening her video by saying that for the first 10 years of living in Singapore, she hardly had any Singaporean friends. This highlights a common experience among migrants, who often find themselves in a cultural and social bubble, surrounded primarily by fellow expatriates or individuals from their home country, rather than integrating into the local community.

“I left Indonesia at 14 to study in Singapore through an MOE scholarship. And yes, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made,” she said. The Ministry of Education (MOE) in Singapore offers scholarships to international students, which can be a significant opportunity for many young individuals. However, while the scholarship provided her with access to quality education, it also came with its own set of challenges, particularly in terms of social integration and emotional wellbeing.

She acknowledged, however, that people love to romanticise migration, since it brings better opportunities, pay, education, and quality of life. This romanticisation can often overshadow the stark realities that many migrants face, including cultural dislocation, homesickness, and the struggle to adapt to a new environment. The perception of life abroad as a utopia can lead to disappointment when the challenges of migration become apparent.

However, the downside of moving away is almost never discussed, added the content creator. Many narratives surrounding migration focus on success stories and positive outcomes, neglecting the emotional and psychological toll that such a significant life change can have on individuals. This lack of discourse can leave many migrants feeling isolated in their struggles, as they may perceive that others are thriving while they are grappling with feelings of inadequacy.

“Nobody talks about the part where you are crying almost every night because you miss your family. Nobody talks about the part where other kids could go home to their parents, get tuition, get emotional support, (while) we are left alone to figure everything out with very limited resources,” she said. This poignant reflection underscores the emotional sacrifices that many young migrants make when they leave their families behind in pursuit of their dreams.

She also talked about having been a top student in Indonesia, but when she got to Singapore, she “suddenly became average.” This experience is not uncommon among international students, who may find themselves in highly competitive academic environments where they are no longer at the top of their class. The pressure to perform can be overwhelming, particularly when compounded by feelings of alienation and cultural differences.

Ms. Gumala was surprised to discover she had poor skills and her accent was misunderstood by others, and for the first time in her life, she felt “super mediocre.” This realization can be particularly jarring for individuals who have excelled in their home countries, as they navigate the complexities of a new educational system and social environment. The struggle to communicate effectively, both verbally and non-verbally, can create additional barriers to integration.

But this wasn’t even the hardest part; rather, it was the feeling that she didn’t belong. The sense of belonging is a fundamental human need, and for migrants, this can often feel elusive. Cultural differences, language barriers, and social dynamics can create an environment where one feels like an outsider, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

She said that in the first decade of her life in Singapore, she spent time primarily with her countrymen, as they were the only ones who made her feel understood. This reliance on a shared cultural background for support is a common coping mechanism among migrants, as it provides a sense of familiarity and comfort in an otherwise foreign environment. However, it can also hinder full integration into the local community, perpetuating a cycle of separation.

This was her experience as a student in her teens, but for working adults, the situation is even more difficult, as so much depends on their employer, including their visa and the possibility of staying in Singapore. Employment-based visas are a critical aspect of migration for many individuals, and the uncertainty surrounding job security can add to the stress of living abroad. For many, the fear of job loss can translate into a fear of deportation, creating a precarious situation for expatriates.

And while Ms. Gumala said she understands the appeal of “kabur aja dulu,” she added: “At the end of the day, whether we stay or leave, we are all just trying to make the best out of the cards we’ve been dealt with because leaving home is never just leaving home.” This statement encapsulates the complexity of migration, where the decision to leave one’s home country is often fraught with emotional, social, and economic implications. The journey of migration is not just a physical relocation; it is a profound transformation that impacts every aspect of an individual’s identity and life.

The challenges faced by migrants like Ms. Gumala serve as a reminder of the multifaceted nature of migration. While the pursuit of better opportunities is a fundamental human desire, it is crucial to acknowledge the emotional and social costs that often accompany such decisions. As discussions around migration continue to evolve, it is essential to create spaces where these experiences can be shared and understood, fostering empathy and support for those navigating the complexities of life in a new country.

In conclusion, the narrative of migration is rich and varied, shaped by individual experiences and societal contexts. As more young Indonesians and individuals from other countries contemplate the prospect of moving abroad, it is imperative to approach the subject with a balanced perspective, recognizing both the opportunities and the challenges that lie ahead. The stories of individuals like Grace Gumala highlight the importance of resilience and adaptability in the face of adversity, offering valuable insights into the migrant experience in today’s globalized world.