NO to Arrange Marriages

Shillong, India Jul 12, 2026 ALN: By Yashaswi Bairagi

Ketan Agarwal’s murder has sparked a critical discourse surrounding the institution of arranged marriages, suggesting that such practices may have outlived their usefulness in modern society. For generations, societal norms have pressured young adults to conform to the expectations of arranged marriages, often treating them as mere pawns in a larger family transaction. This dynamic raises significant ethical concerns, particularly regarding the autonomy and emotional well-being of individuals involved. When young adults yield to parental pressure to enter into arranged marriages, they may be playing with fire, as the consequences can be dire.

In the aftermath of a failed arranged marriage, the repercussions are often disproportionately borne by the couple involved. While parents may face temporary gossip and social scrutiny, they typically distance themselves from the fallout, leaving their children to navigate the complexities of a toxic and loveless relationship. The emotional burden and psychological impact can be profound, leading to a sense of isolation and despair for the individuals trapped in such situations. Ketan’s tragic case is not an isolated incident; the last decade has seen numerous instances where individuals have succumbed to familial or societal pressures, resulting in disastrous outcomes not just for the couple but for their families and communities as well.

It is essential to recognize that when individuals take responsibility for their own lives, they are more likely to seek partners who genuinely align with their values and aspirations. Arranged marriages often involve a lack of transparency regarding the partners' past experiences and emotional states, which can lead to misunderstandings and unmet expectations. In contrast, pursuing a love marriage allows individuals to build a relationship based on mutual understanding and respect, rather than external pressures. Even if loved ones share negative experiences or express concern about the choice of a partner, the autonomy to choose one's life partner remains paramount. Ultimately, it is far more fulfilling to embark on a relationship with someone one knows well, rather than with a stranger who may harbor undisclosed intentions.

The notion that individuals should not allow others to dictate their futures is a powerful assertion. In the context of arranged marriages, the stakes are particularly high, as the consequences of such decisions can affect not only the couple but also their families and social circles. The fundamental flaw in arranged marriages lies in the lack of accountability among the families involved. Often, families prioritize superficial metrics such as wealth, social status, and caste over the emotional compatibility of the couple. This transactional approach to marriage can lead to a disconnection between the partners, as they may feel more like commodities than individuals with unique desires and aspirations.

When arranged marriages encounter difficulties, it is typically the couple who bears the brunt of the fallout. Parents and relatives may choose to ignore the issues at hand, focusing instead on preserving the family's reputation. This dynamic perpetuates a culture of silence, where individuals are encouraged to suppress their feelings of unhappiness and dissatisfaction to maintain harmony within the family unit. The pressure to conform to societal expectations can be overwhelming, leading individuals to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of family pride.

Choosing a love marriage represents a conscious decision to reject the notion of being a sacrificial lamb for one's family's social standing. While standing up to parental expectations can be daunting, it is crucial to weigh the alternatives. Opting for a life of conformity may result in a facade of happiness that crumbles behind closed doors, leading to emotional turmoil and regret. The courage to pursue love on one's own terms can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

Moreover, the societal implications of arranged marriages extend beyond individual experiences. The cycle of coercion and compliance perpetuated by familial expectations can have far-reaching effects on future generations. Many young people find themselves making life choices—such as educational paths and career decisions—based on their parents' preferences, only to be coerced into similar patterns in their romantic lives. This cycle must be addressed and dismantled to foster a culture that values individual autonomy and personal happiness.

Taking control of one’s life and advocating for love marriages often comes at a significant price. The societal stigma attached to rejecting arranged marriages can lead to ostracism and familial strife. For instance, had individuals like Siya received an environment conducive to expressing their feelings and desires, it is conceivable that many tragic outcomes—including imprisonment, violence, and emotional suffering—could have been avoided. The need for open dialogue and acceptance of diverse relationship choices is paramount in creating a healthier societal framework.

In conclusion, the discourse surrounding arranged marriages must evolve to reflect the changing dynamics of modern society. As individuals increasingly seek to assert their autonomy in matters of love and partnership, it is essential to recognize the potential dangers of adhering to outdated practices. The tragic case of Ketan Agarwal serves as a stark reminder of the consequences of ignoring individual agency in favor of familial expectations. By advocating for love marriages and fostering an environment of understanding and acceptance, society can pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling relationships that honor the desires and aspirations of individuals.

Understanding the historical context of arranged marriages is also crucial in this discussion. Traditionally, arranged marriages have been a means of securing alliances between families, preserving social status, and ensuring economic stability. In many cultures, marriage was not solely a union between two individuals but also a strategic partnership that involved families and communities. This historical framework has contributed to the persistence of arranged marriages, even in contemporary society.

However, as societies evolve and values shift, the relevance of arranged marriages is increasingly being questioned. The rise of individualism and the emphasis on personal happiness have led many to challenge the traditional norms surrounding marriage. The younger generation is increasingly prioritizing love and compatibility over familial approval, challenging the status quo and advocating for their right to choose their partners.

Additionally, the impact of globalization and technology has transformed how relationships are formed and maintained. The advent of social media and dating apps has provided individuals with more opportunities to meet potential partners outside their immediate social circles, thereby expanding their choices. This shift has enabled many to pursue relationships based on mutual attraction and shared values rather than familial expectations.

Furthermore, the psychological implications of arranged marriages deserve attention. Research indicates that individuals in arranged marriages may experience higher levels of anxiety and lower levels of satisfaction compared to those in love marriages. The pressure to conform to familial expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy and a lack of self-worth, which can have long-lasting effects on mental health. By contrast, love marriages often foster a sense of partnership and collaboration, allowing individuals to navigate challenges together and build a strong foundation for their relationship.

Ultimately, the conversation surrounding arranged marriages must encompass a broader understanding of love, autonomy, and individual rights. It is essential to create a cultural shift that values personal choice and encourages open dialogue about relationships. This shift requires not only challenging traditional norms but also fostering environments that support individuals in their quest for happiness.

In light of these considerations, it is imperative that society re-evaluates the role of arranged marriages in contemporary life. While they may still hold significance in certain cultures, it is essential to acknowledge the potential risks and challenges they pose to individual autonomy and emotional well-being. By promoting love marriages and encouraging individuals to take control of their relationship choices, society can work towards creating a future where love, respect, and mutual understanding are at the forefront of partnerships.

As we reflect on the tragic case of Ketan Agarwal, it becomes evident that the need for change is urgent. The stories of countless individuals who have suffered due to the pressures of arranged marriages underscore the importance of advocating for personal freedom in love. By fostering a culture that values individual choice, society can pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling relationships that honor the desires and aspirations of every individual.

(The writer is an Assistant Professor, Commerce Department, Advance College, Ujjain, Madhya Pradesh)