‘Having 2 HDBs is important’: SG couple in their 50s at odds over whose HDB has to go if they tie the knot

Singapore, Singapore Jul 11, 2026 ALN: A couple’s plans to tie the knot have hit a stumbling block after they found themselves at odds over whose HDB flat would have to be given up. This situation highlights the complexities that can arise in blended families, especially when it comes to housing and financial decisions.

On Saturday (Jul 4), the man shared his story anonymously in the ‘Complaint Singapore’ Facebook group. He explained that he and his girlfriend, both in their early 50s, each own a four-room HDB flat from their previous marriages. He lives in Clementi, while she owns a flat in Redhill. They also each have children from their previous marriages, making them a blended family with five children altogether.

According to the man, he is perfectly happy with their current arrangement. His girlfriend, however, wants to get married and is unwilling to continue the relationship without making it official. This desire for marriage is not uncommon, as many individuals in long-term relationships may seek formal commitments for various reasons, including emotional security, social acceptance, and legal benefits.

“I’m happy like this, but my girlfriend will only be satisfied if we get married, but that means we need to dispose of one of our HDBs,” he stated. Under HDB rules, a married couple is regarded as a single household, or family nucleus, and is generally allowed to own only one HDB flat at any one time. This regulation can create significant challenges for couples like this man and his girlfriend, who are navigating the complexities of a blended family while also considering their individual financial assets.

The problem is her

The man believes keeping both flats is the more practical option. He pointed out that having two homes gives the blended family more space and flexibility, which can be crucial for children from different backgrounds. Blended families often face unique challenges, including the need for adequate living space to accommodate varying family dynamics.

“I told her marriage is paper only; having 2 HDBs is important. Because how to accommodate our combined 5 children in only 1 HDB?” he wrote. The concern about space is valid; as children grow older, they typically desire more privacy and independence. This can lead to tensions if they are forced to share living quarters, especially in a blended family where relationships may already be complex.

“She’s still angry at me and demands I need to give her what she wants. I don’t want to be forced into marriage like this. The problem is her.” The emotional weight of his statement reflects the tension that can exist in relationships where one partner feels pressured to conform to the other's expectations. The dynamics of power in relationships can often lead to resentment, particularly when financial decisions are involved.

“Don’t sell your HDB, give it to your kids”

In the comments, many users agreed that the couple should prioritize keeping both HDB flats over getting married. This sentiment underscores a growing awareness of the importance of financial independence and security in relationships, especially for individuals who have experienced divorce or separation in the past. One commenter pointed out that squeezing a blended family with five children into a single four-room flat was hardly realistic.

“It seems like it is quite impossible to stay together with 5 children from different marriages… when they grow older, they all want to have their own room… how to get a house with 6 rooms?” they wrote. This perspective highlights the logistical challenges of merging families and the need for thoughtful planning when it comes to housing.

“And what if there is a quarrel between your children and her children? You know, even blood siblings have serious arguments, what more when they are of different blood… better to keep it this way… there is space for everyone… like this everyone will be happier…” This comment reflects a common concern in blended families: the potential for conflict and the need for each child to feel secure in their living environment.

Another commenter urged the man to think about his children’s future. “Don’t sell your HDB, give it to your kids. They are more important because they are blood. Think about your kids’ future. You and your girlfriend haven’t even lived together, but she’s already bossy then what more in the future.” This advice speaks to the importance of prioritizing children’s needs and well-being in family decisions, particularly in blended situations where loyalties and relationships can be complicated.

“Find another woman who will understand you more than your own kin and also think about the future of your kids, not just what she wants.” This suggestion reflects a belief that mutual understanding and respect are crucial in any relationship, especially when children are involved.

A third warned the man not to overlook the risks of giving up his home. “Just remember, if you gave up your HDB and anything happens between you and your girlfriend, you will be homeless.” This comment serves as a stark reminder of the potential consequences of making hasty decisions in relationships, particularly regarding significant assets like property.

A few others suggested a compromise. Rather than arguing over which HDB flat to keep, they proposed that the couple sell both properties and buy a larger landed home together. This idea reflects a growing trend among couples to seek solutions that not only accommodate their current needs but also foster a sense of unity and shared commitment.

One wrote, “Both sell and then buy a landed. You can find a bigger one to accommodate all kids and still have your own private time. No need to fight. There’s beauty in owning something together and kind of lock in commitment as well. Fair to both.” This perspective emphasizes the potential for collaboration and mutual benefit in relationships, particularly when it comes to shared living arrangements.

In other news, a frustrated son has claimed that his 60-year-old mother gambled away her retirement savings and is now treating him and his siblings as her personal retirement fund. In a post on the r/singaporefi subreddit on Friday (June 26), he said his mother had made multiple trips to Resorts World and Genting over the years, allegedly losing a few hundred thousand dollars of her savings. This situation further illustrates the complexities of familial relationships and financial responsibilities, particularly as they relate to aging parents and their adult children.