Essential Life Skills for Incoming College Freshmen

• As a college instructor, I've seen students thrive and struggle in their first year.
• The ones who succeed seem to have a few important life skills in common.
• If your child is heading off to school, you should make sure to do these things first.

Washington DC, United States Jul 19, 2026 ALN: I am a mom of four, one of whom is dual-enrolled in high school and college courses. I have also taught more than 1,000 college students over the last decade.

Of course, I've seen students thrive and flounder over the years. The ones who succeed all seem to have some similarities. My experience has shown me that knowing a few things before starting freshman year can make a big difference. Here's what I want parents to teach their high school graduates before they head off to college.

Encourage your children to handle things on their own

Communication is absolutely essential to the success of a college student, starting on the first day they set foot on campus. Some classes will have over 100 students. Teach your child to introduce themselves to their teacher, in person. If your child is going to be absent or is struggling with class material, teach them how to send a respectful e-mail requesting clarification or support.

What you should not do is step in and try to talk to teachers on your child's behalf. This is their time to learn, and that includes learning about advocating for themselves. By allowing them to manage their own academic communication, you are fostering their independence and helping them develop crucial skills that will serve them well beyond college.

Enroll them in a self-defense class

The summer before the fall semester, consider offering to take a self-defense class with your child or sending them to one specifically designed for their age. This proactive step not only equips them with vital skills but also opens a dialogue about personal safety and awareness.

College campuses can be beautiful spaces to learn and grow; however, the glossy brochures and websites won't depict the realities of possible sexual assault, harassment, fights, car break-ins, or stalking that can take place there or elsewhere. Awareness of their surroundings is crucial. Encourage your child to avoid distractions like their phones when walking around campus, especially at night.

It's essential that your child understands that paying attention to their surroundings (not having their face buried in their phones) and carefully posting on social media (watch those locations) can be simple but important steps in safety. A self-defense class may also give them some extra confidence, and you some peace of mind. Additionally, discussing scenarios and strategies can help them feel more prepared and less anxious about the unknowns of college life.

Teach boundary setting

I believe that learning how to set good boundaries can make or break a college experience. In a new environment where independence is both liberating and daunting, students may find themselves navigating complex social dynamics.

Yes, college is about students discovering who they are while getting more educated. However, a young adult who is a people-pleaser or doormat, rather than a self-advocate, can quickly find their grades plummeting and engaging in unhealthy peer relationships. The pressure to fit in can lead to poor decision-making, and this is where boundary setting becomes critical.

It's important to teach your future college student that boundaries aren't about controlling other people. Good boundaries are for the person: what they will or won't do, what they will or won't tolerate, with the goal of achieving the life they want. For example, I know that staying out too late with my game club means I will oversleep and potentially miss my 8:00 a.m. math class; therefore, my boundary is that I will be in my dorm by 11:00 p.m. Sunday through Thursday nights.

Of course, no one gets boundaries right all the time. College is a time to live and learn. Mistakes will happen, and that’s part of the growth process. Encourage your child to reflect on their experiences and adjust their boundaries as needed, reinforcing that it’s okay to change their approach based on what they learn about themselves and their needs.

Research opportunities ahead of time

Now is the time to research the many opportunities their college offers and begin planning for your child to explore them. Colleges are not just centers for academic study; they are vibrant communities filled with diverse activities and resources. Too many of my students, most of them freshmen, spend months feeling lost, lonely, and unengaged. The further along in a semester, the harder it can be to join in when a group is already established and in a groove.

College campuses offer countless opportunities for a wide range of interests, whether it's sports (attending events or playing for fun with peers), gaming, learning a new skill, partaking in a shared hobby, or learning more about the local community and joining its events. Encourage your child to seek these things out and experience all that they can. Participating in clubs, organizations, or volunteer opportunities can help them forge connections, build a support network, and enhance their college experience.

Moreover, engaging in extracurricular activities can also bolster their resumes and provide valuable experiences that may help them in their future careers. Encourage your child to think about what interests them and to take the initiative to explore these opportunities as soon as they arrive on campus.

Prioritize their mental health

New high school graduates about to embark on a major life shift need to understand that their mental health matters. Transitioning to college can be overwhelming; students are often faced with new responsibilities, social pressures, and academic challenges. It's essential for them to recognize the importance of mental well-being and to develop strategies to maintain it.

I have had several students every semester who have faced some sort of mental health issue. The ones who were able to navigate their depression or anxiety were those who verbalized their struggle and sought help, usually via the college's mental and medical health services, as quickly as possible. Encouraging your child to seek help when needed can be a game-changer in their college experience.

Parents also need to be attentive listeners. If their student-child expresses that they are struggling, meet them with curiosity and support. Over the years, I've seen that grades matter far less than a student's mental well-being in the long run. It’s important to foster an environment where your child feels comfortable discussing their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment. This open communication can help them feel supported and less isolated during challenging times.

In summary, preparing for college is not just about academic readiness; it encompasses a variety of life skills that can significantly impact a student's experience. By encouraging independence, promoting safety awareness, teaching boundary-setting, facilitating engagement with campus opportunities, and prioritizing mental health, parents can help their children navigate this pivotal transition successfully. These skills will not only aid them in their college journey but will also equip them for future challenges in life.